Your Daily Dose of Caetano

John Lennon: Smart

"I've been baking bread and looking after the baby...everyone who has asked me that question over the last few years says, "But what else have you been doing?" To which I say, "Are you kidding?" Because bread and babies, as every housewife knows, is a full-time job. After I made the loaves I felt like I had conquered something. But as I watched the bread being eaten I thought, "Well, Jesus, don't I get a gold record or knighted or nothing?" -John Lennon

I don't have an elaborate thesis about it, but this quotation strikes me as pretty damn insightful. Lennon knows that you can't really gain an appreciation of women's work and its meager rewards until you actually do it. As I've mentioned before I'm continually amazed by how much work my mother does, and it's only because in recent years I've actually started to (minimally) help her do it. Somewhere in the moral reform universe there should be a volunteer all-male cleaning service. Which brings me to one of my favorite Ann Oakley quotations:

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization.

And at the end of the day we're all better off with a little soul-crushing.

4 Months, 3 Weeks, and Zoo Days

I saw 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days recently, and it was great. This movie has the best acting and writing of any film I've seen in years, and the Metacritic score bears that out. So see it. The direction in the abortion scene is brilliant, but my favorite scene comes a little later, during a dinner party at the protag's boyfriend's place. You can watch the whole thing online, the scene takes place over parts 12 and 13.

This portrait hits close to home; there's something so ignorant and obnoxious about his earnestness, I can't even really wrap my head around why it affected me so much. It's as if he doesn't trust her that there are more important things in the world than the state of their relationship. It carries through to when he won't leave her to wait for the elevator - he doesn't have the propriety to conceal his emotions for her sake, the same kind of performance she is engaged in for the entire film, with her abortion-seeking friend, with the abortionist, with the dinner guests. The cliché is that women have more latitude than men when it comes to affective expression, but it's all part of the same terrible spectacle.

As a side note, I usually like Variety's film reviews, but in this case Jay Weissberg takes Mungiu to task for actually showing the fetus, and it's apparent that his delicate moral (and not aesthetic) sensibilities were offended by the aforementioned shot:

So careful at focusing only on what's essential, Mungiu makes only one misstep when he lingers on a fetus -- it's a moment completely out of keeping with the rest of the film and serves only as wasted shock value.

Apparently the fetus itself is tangential to the plot and for the women signifies nothing more than "shock value."

And finally, I actually can wrap my head around why the boyfriend scene hits so close to home, but personal errata won't find an audience here.

I also saw ZOO. I couldn't relate to it in quite the same way, but it's also fabulous and raises questions about paraphilia, which I might work into a later post.

I Have Returned with Gusto

And now, a talkie that brings me great joy, certainly the most facile of the alternate trailers. David Lynch's Dirty Dancing

How to Escape from Prison, Vol. 1

Bocce partner Harbottle has a comment about my Blind Lookists post:

So where does female agency fit into this argument? The implication is that women are forced into these behaviors. But people inadvertently CHOOSE to be oppressed (by making active choices that may fit into conventional patriarchal ideologies). It is not just exerted from the "top down". Rather this system creates ideologies and a way for you to ENJOY your repression.

I think the best way to respond is with an analogy. Let's think of traditional (patriarchally-defined) femininity as a prison. The inmates were born into that prison and most will never leave. Some of the warden-approved recreation is actually fun (if it weren't there'd be riots), and there are tangible rewards for model behavior. During their stay, some prisoners discover the tools to escape and manage to pull it off. Others don't. Do the escaped prisoners look at the their former peers with derision for their lack of ingenuity or because they enjoy some of their time there? Of course not. The escapees remember the prison and its powerful sway. They smuggle in files and raincoats (Escape from Alcatraz is great), they organize for prison reform. But they do not blame the prisoners for their complacency, which is anything but.

Blind Lookists

Sorry for the hiatus, folks. I've had what you might call my "lost weekend" - quite a bender! As is customary, I have now officially parted ways with my band, Jiminy and the Cricks. Up next: solo tour!

A long list of questions for radical men. A few of these have come up in recent conversation, namely

36. Do you find yourself only attracted to "Anarcho-Crusty Punk Barbie", Alterna-Grrrl Barbie," or "Hardcore-Grrrl Barbie?" (The idea here being that the only women you are attracted to fit mainstream beauty standards but just dress and do their hair alternatively and maybe have piercings and tattoos) Do you question and challenge your internalized ideals of mainstream beauty ideals for women?

and

38. Are you aware of the fact that ALL WOMEN, even women in radical communities, live under the CONSTANT PRESSURE and OPPRESSION of mainstream patriarchal beauty standards?

One of my male friends' taste in women trends decidedly to the mainstream, specifically to those physical, hygenic and sartorial qualities most prized by misogynist culture. He trots out the funfeminist argument: because these women are (in some sense) choosing to participate in misogynist norms there's no tension between his sexual standards and his feminism. I disagree. As to the hygiene and dress, he conflates the notion that women can't be blamed for their participation in omnipresent misogynist norms with the idea that this participation isn't a manifestation of patriarchy, and in his bid for expiation ignores the patriarchy-reinforcing effect of his personal taste.

While I don't think I have a particular fetish for the accoutrements of subordination I definitely do prize mainstream physical beauty. I find it hard to imagine ever being with someone overweight, or with someone my friends and family wouldn't find attractive. I know these preferences don't jibe well with any sort of radical feminism.

37. Have you ever heard of or discussed "sizeism" and do you think it is low on the oppression scale?

A few days ago I asked a female friend for her perspective on lookism. She swiftly repaired to the ramparts - "Why are you asking me this?" she demanded, as though the query had impugned her character. When pressed she offered a weak defense of lookism as a natural and therefore irresistible phenomenon. I seem to remember the same sentiment expressed about any number of dreadful ideologies.

40. Do you make fun of "model-types" or "mainstream" women for their appearance?

This is rampant among leftists and it annoys me to no end. Do we blame victims of other forms of oppression for "aw shucks"ing it to get by? Of course we don't.

Male Privilege, Codified

A great list from Alas, a Blog, which I discovered in this coddling thread at I Blame the Patriarchy. Mostly common sense* but it's good to see it all in one place. While men are active participants in all of this stuff, I think there's a distinction that can be drawn between public and personal iterations of male privilege - it's much more difficult to rectify the earning gap than, say, the division of household chores and childcare.

Living with my folks for a while has really made me examine Heckenrose familial labor relations, I'll have a post about housework when I get my thoughts together.

* "common sense" may not actually be common

Long Lost Brothers?

Wealthy white male and presidential candidate John McCain.


Wealthy white male and crypto-industrialist Elbow Heckenrose.

There's definitely a resemblance. From the wonderful Things Younger than McCain.

Dubya Trailer

If it's taken down just google "W. trailer," because it's awesome.

It occurs to me that most movies are men talking to one another about other men because that's how the world works - that is, most every facet of our lives is shaped by overwhelmingly male decision making. We don't want to paper over male hegemony with movies featuring fictitiously powerful women*, we want movies that are critical of male-centered culture, and I imagine many of those (like W., although I doubt Stone's script says much about gender politics) would mostly feature men.

It also occurs to me that I need to learn how to embed videos.

Aliens!

Craaaaaaazy.