Cool Tools 4 Men

So to continue with the MRA theme, their message boards are a hoot! The Cool Tools 4 Men forum seems pretty by-the-numbers at first, but fimiton's 15 page thread (far and away the longest) makes it all worthwhile. Basically, fimiton has taken it upon himself to come up with a "men's logo suggestion," or, translated from crazy, a slogan for the men's rights movement. His first koan-like gem:

For surpassing a man,
they should stop him first.
We should keep running,

Too true! But what's really remarkable is fimiton's range - he's crammed an entire spectrum of MRA lunatic vitriol into these little nonsensical nuggets. I don't mean to pettily call him out on his English skills, but the jumbled language is just such a perfect complement to the faulty thinking behind it. When I read better-educated MRAs I'm always struck by how carefully duplicitous they seem, obscuring their twisted logic with high-minded talk of equality and stability and tradition. Frankly I find it hard to believe educated people can peddle MRA putrescence and fail to grasp the fundamental dishonesty of it all.

But back to our glourious fimiton! He dabbles in mathematics,

Vagina Math:
90 degree angel is called right angel because of men oppressions.
Women should never do it in that way.

history,

feminists:
“Women died for their people and their countries.”
Men: Accidentally!!!

surrealism,

Feminists:
“Vagina is a Golden Gate”
Men:
It is petroleum and doesn’t have a gate!

and of course, some good old fashioned hate for his backstabbing bros:

No to the feminists,
Specially,
Those with the penis.