How to Escape from Prison, Vol. 1

Bocce partner Harbottle has a comment about my Blind Lookists post:

So where does female agency fit into this argument? The implication is that women are forced into these behaviors. But people inadvertently CHOOSE to be oppressed (by making active choices that may fit into conventional patriarchal ideologies). It is not just exerted from the "top down". Rather this system creates ideologies and a way for you to ENJOY your repression.

I think the best way to respond is with an analogy. Let's think of traditional (patriarchally-defined) femininity as a prison. The inmates were born into that prison and most will never leave. Some of the warden-approved recreation is actually fun (if it weren't there'd be riots), and there are tangible rewards for model behavior. During their stay, some prisoners discover the tools to escape and manage to pull it off. Others don't. Do the escaped prisoners look at the their former peers with derision for their lack of ingenuity or because they enjoy some of their time there? Of course not. The escapees remember the prison and its powerful sway. They smuggle in files and raincoats (Escape from Alcatraz is great), they organize for prison reform. But they do not blame the prisoners for their complacency, which is anything but.