Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Wealthy White Male Purchases Panamanian City

This morning I found myself bathing in the wrong currency. Thankfully, Panamanian Balboas have a pegged exchange rate with US dollars, so I was able to trade my 2.84 Billion dollars. I was in the delightful city of Santiago, the capital of the province Veraguas with my “friend”. It was then I decided to purchase the city of Santiago, all in all it shaked out to be about 325 million Balboas, about 1.03% of my total fortune. It has since been explained to me by my only “friend” (who I now know his name is Jorge), that I now control the province of Veraguas. Pretty neat! Provinces are so cheap nowadays. Panama is hands down my favorite isthmus. It is also my second favorite nation to hide my tax dollars. I decided to learn about my new found province by entreating commoners to a dinner earlier this night. I met a man named Guadalupe, he owned a restaurante that sold mostly corn based dishes, because Panamanians are in to that. Guady treated me to a Torrejita, telling me it was like a corn fritter. I thought it was disgusting. This all around “nice person”, Guadalupe was a real help explaining to me the importance of dance in Panamanian culture. I refused to move my body in rhythmic motions. It is unholy. It was also explained that panamanian culture is closely related to Native American culture. Native Americans peeve me. When you hear about the white man stealing America from the Natives, I am that white man.

No comments:

Post a Comment