Thursday, December 1, 2016

Wealthy White Male Meets Spicy Mchaggis

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We’re in Ireland, and Popo and I have been having problems. Popos favorite 90s Grunge band is Pearl Jam, and mine is the Pixies, and Dingbang is caught in the middle. We decided to ask the Celtic punk band, the Dropkick Murphys, who the best 90s grunge band of all is, to find out once and for all. The Dropkick Murphys are actually based in Massachusetts, but they’re in Ireland right now. Ken Casey, Matt Kelly, Al Barr, James Lynch, Tim Brennan, and Jeff DaRosa arrived at our hotel in Galway, The Jurys Inn. We chatted for about ten minutes before a emerald helicopter appeared in the sky. It landed like a bird of prey and a bedazzled man with bagpipes exited. It was Spicy Mchaggis, the bands bagpiper from 2000-2003. A brilliantly tattooed man in a shiny flat cap, the rest of the band sprinted towards him, crying as they went. Al Barr, the lead singer, fell at his feet, and began to beg, saying “oy, Spicy ma’boy, how bout you come play those pipes with us ‘gain eh? Whaddya say?” Spicy stroked his neckbeard solemnly, and spoke quietly, “Why that sounds wicked pissa.”. The Murphys rejoiced. I hoisted Dingbang onto my shoulders and we ran through the streets of Galway, singing songs and dancing. We stopped at O’Cladhy’s and picked up some soda bread and a few pints of Stout, and got back to the streets. It only cost a few Euros. Galway is a town of bright colors and nice people. We went to Eyre Square Centre and chillaxed a while. We took a vote of who the best 90s grunge band was and the answers varied but Nirvana earned the most votes. Spicy argued that if Kurt Cobain had lived a full life, Nirvana would’ve been immeasurably better than other grunge bands. Bogus. The Murphys were still cool though. The Eyre Square was having their annual “SANTA’S MAGICAL ARRIVAL” day which was fun. They really went all out, as the facebook post states: “Santa was visited by his friends, Minnie Mouse, Olaf and Mickey Mouse and the dancing elves who entertained the whole crowd.” The whole crowd was hundreds of people. The dancing elves were sadly sexualized, but the disney characters were awesome. Also, a man name Bernard the Magician was an entertainer and he was wonderful. His tricky, were so tricky, his gimmicks, so gimmicky, and his accent was delightful. We spent a good portion of the there in the square. We held a concert that night at a stoneclad pub just around the corner from the Eyre Square Centre, and the Dropkick Murphys were on their game with their favorite bagpiper, Spicy Mchaggis back on the team.

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