Thursday, December 1, 2016

Wealthy White Male Misses Pat Morita

Image result for okinawaI’m a bit of a film buff, but one film from my life has affected me in a way that far surpasses any other movie in existence. That movie would have to be the critically acclaimed sequel to the hit Ralph Macchio film The Karate Kid, The Karate Kid, part 2. Most of the movie takes place in a land called Okinawa, a storied island where disputes are settled by to-the-death brawls in the middle of festivals. I wanted to participate in one of these brawls. Obviously I went to the real Okinawa. I googled the “ where is the castle from Karate Kid 2” only to find that the entirety of the film had been filmed in Oahu, Hawaii. I was greatly troubled as to why an honorable man like Pat Morita would let this happen. Noriyuki “Pat” Morita was the hero of my childhood. His portrayal of Arnold Takahashi in Happy Days was exquisite. Image result for karate kid 2

What was I to do now? Aimlessly wandering the island, I stumbled on an old shoppe with a little old lady inside. They had fruits and spices. It was a local store that took only Yen, and the Shichimi Togarashi was only 50 Yen! I bought some Shichimi and looked around some more. Tucked in the middle of a busy city street, the small store was peculiar. I heard a faint screaming coming from somewhere, I figured it was a nearby building, but when I saw the secret door behind the bananas, I knew. I asked the lady up front “Dono kurai no faitokurabu ni sanka suru ni wa?” The fight club cost 3000 Yen. Well worth it. She explained to me the rules and regulations of underground Okinawan Kung Fu. First rule of underground Okinawan Kung Fu is: You do not talk about underground Okinawan Kung Fu. I was battered, beaten and sore after fighting three sumo-level warriors. I decided to enter the betting area. I won some good money, walked out a free man. It was a good time, really brought me back to Karate Kid 2.

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